Calm Chaos, a Novel by Sara Pacioselli

A toxic relationship with a narcissistic partner can strip victims of their certainties, joy of living and self-confidence, undermining their physical and mental stability.

Emerging from abuse is difficult, especially if you do not recognize the warning signs and negative dynamics that abuse creates. Furthermore, it is essential to receive support and, if possible, undertake a psychological journey. For those who find themselves in this delicate and difficult situation, a book can also be helpful and revealing. This is what Sara Pacioselli, a 30-year-old Terni native, thought and put into practice. She graduated from Bocconi in Economics and Management of Arts, Culture, Media and Entertainment (ACME), worked as senior marketing consultant, and was previously advisory manager of the Corporate Digital Academy at CERVED, before self-publishing her first book, Caos calmo in evoluzione (Calm Chaos, Evolving). The novel will be presented at the Turin Book Fair, from 9 to 13 May.

“It is a novel about the protagonist's rebirth after having lived in a toxic and abusive relationship for years,” explains Sara. “I wrote it for all the women who need to achieve greater awareness and find practical ideas in order to get out of their relationship with a pathological narcissist. It is useful support to be combined with psychological therapy or any other path the victim needs to recover from abuse." The passion for writing and culture has always been in Sara, hence her choice of the Bocconi degree program. “I would never have chosen a purely economics course; I probably wouldn't have attended Bocconi if it hadn’t offered an economics and management course applied to cultural industries,” she says. She did her exchange program at Erasmus University in Rotterdam, which strengthened her interest in the media sector, digital media in particular, and did her first work experiences at KPMG in the field of digital learning and as a consultant and business developer for Digited. “The idea of writing a book was a project I had had in mind for some time,” she says. “I started writing as a child, when I was 10 years old. The choice of the subject matured due to the possibility of giving voice to my life experience, in a sort of cathartic process." The book tells the story of the protagonist’s healing process, who finds herself experiencing the emotional rollercoaster typical of an abusive relationship and then manages to attain rebirth and stronger self-awareness.

“I am not a psychologist, but rather a friend lying on the couch with you. However, by being more aware about the subject, I write as a friend who can provide you with a more concrete vision and therefore can help you.” The book, however, is not the only tool: “Wanting to leave a tangible footprint and above all having the desire to help victims of abuse, I started a coaching journey and opened an Instagram page to proactively listen to victims of abuse who need advice. Questions and requests are handled anonymously and my response, which may be of help, is shared on the Instagram page (@seipolicromia),” continues Sara. “Lastly, the Spotify channel Caos Calmo in Evoluzione has gone live. Starting from ideas, quotes and thoughts from classic and modern literature, it’s where I can bring the pages of my book to life and communicate a lot more.” And now the Turin Book Fair is approaching, a new and exciting experience which she finds hard to believe she’ll be part of, despite having worked hard to achieve her goal: "I didn't want the book to be distributed only on Amazon but also to end up in Mondadori and Feltrinelli bookstores, which then happened. This year at the Salone del Libro in Turin there will be an area devoted to self-publishing. I applied to be included and a jury of publishers selected me," says Sara. “It’s a wonderful opportunity to meet writers and culture and entertainment professionals, as well as great personal satisfaction. But, also, an excellent moment to compare your work with those who do this professionally."

translated by Alex Foti