# DearBocconiansInAction...by Chiara Solerio

The story is one that is common to hundreds of workers, volunteers and employees, who, every morning, put on a uniform and take to the field. It is a race against time to stop a monster completely unknown to humanity, at least until a few weeks ago. The drill is more or less the same: the Central switchboard calls us and informs that the patient is a Covid suspect and that we must act following protocol. The rescue vehicle arrives on the spot and the protective dressing proceeds: usually only one rescuer dresses and enters the patient's home alone. It is my practice to get dressed (overalls, shoes, mask, glasses, double gloves) while my companions check me, ensuring that no part of my body is exposed. The eyes of the companions who have checked me thoroughly are the same as those who follow me, at a distance, in the patient's home, as if to reassure me that I am not alone in managing the service. The patient is then evaluated and, in agreement with our Operations Center, transported to the hospital. This time a "dirty path" awaits us in the emergency room, the one intended for Covid suspects. Then I, together with my crew, dedicate myself to the a long and rather delicate process of undressing and sanitizing the vehicle. The "Covid protocol" has partially modified our modus operandi in an ambulance, setting however a new routine that we rescuers have learned over the weeks, made our own and repeated many times to get used to it. Something that cannot, however, be made habitual is our mood.

It is difficult to rationalize what I have felt in these weeks. Certainly there is the intensity with which I felt every emotion. The first few days proved to be a potentially lethal mix of terror and adrenaline, aggravated by a condition of information asymmetry in which we didn't know what we were fighting and what weapons would have been needed to defeat the monster. So, as if about to start a "new job", I built my toolbox for battle. Each rescuer has his or her own. We need it to perform our role professionally, appropriately and emotionally close. What does mine contain? Fear: in every service I continue to be afraid, and it is good because fear forces me to keep my attention high and helps me to reduce the risk of error. Determination: I viscerally want to carry out every day, every service, the task that I am called to do, that is to assist those in difficulty. Courage: I want to believe that the situation will improve. A smile: the mask hides it but the eyes reveal it. It is not a smile of happiness; it's the smile of reassurance, the one that shouts "my colleagues and I are here, and you're not alone". Unity: in an ambulance, with my team, there is no loneliness. Three people, six hands working, united, in the same direction, with the same goal. Pride: I am deeply proud of the uniform I wear and what the Red Cross, and in particular the Milan Committee, is doing for our territory.

Putting everything away after work and returning home is the most difficult moment for me. My body is now safe, but my mind is still right there, where everything begins (again) every morning. I think of all the less fortunate, those who contracted the virus: I remember every single expression of their fear, but also every single expression of the tenacity with which they declare they do not want to give up. I think of the relatives and friends of Covid patients or suspected of infection; and I remember the contagious willpower they try to pass on to those who are suffering. I think of all the aware citizens, who consciously behave well by choosing to stay at home every day. I also think of how many citizens, each within the limits of their own strength, have chosen to make their time available to help the community (the Red Cross, Committee of Milan, has received more than two thousand requests for temporary volunteering. Milan is there, and she wants to fight). And finally, I think of those who still cannot work: the time will soon come when doctors, nurses, first aid workers, law enforcement officers, those who today are engaged in the front line, will pass the torch and allow them to get back to fighting their personal battles.

Until then, I will not stop offering my service. Because, as we say in our ambulance "We do not give up and nobody is left behind".